Spends 45 minutes rehashing all the arguments he made about the prequels. He talks about this dumbass ring theory some bored nerd made up that makes absolutely no sense and he spends way too much time saying that exact thing. The only slightly interesting tangent is when he talks about all the list clickbait articles people made about the prequels leading up to The Force Awakens, but he goes on way too long about it.
Then he gets to talking about The Force Awakens, except he doesn’t. Instead, he talks about a bunch of points he made in the reviews of the original trilogy. They sorta apply here, but he makes a point that every critic has made about The Force Awakens. It’s a rehash of A New Hope. We get it. Move on. Say something interesting. The review starts to hit its stride when he starts his geeky nitpicks. The humor begins to shine through.
The only solid legitimate critique he makes in this rambling bit of derivative, self-indulgent nerd-rage is when he says that a far more interesting film would be the events leading up to The Force Awakens. Watching Luke train Jedi and then have it all blow up in his face and seeing the events that led to Han and Leia going their separate ways would have been a much more interesting film. Most of the positive points he makes are the same exact points he made about a New Hope, especially the lack of lightsaber fights that lead to one final fight that’s much more about the emotions than the action. It’s part of what makes the film so damn satisfying at the end.
What irks me about the whole piece is that Plinkett had almost a year to write and edit this damn thing and we end up with a more rehashed and derivative work than The Force Awakens. There’s maybe 15 minutes of legitimate new content here filled with an hour and thirty minutes of shit he’s already talked about in his six other reviews. That being said, I makes me eager to rewatch the film because he reminds me how damn entertaining The Force Awakens is, warts and all.
I give it two pizza rolls.
© 2016 James Blake Ewing